I write my life away...

Writing down your day is possibly the best thing for memory’s sake. It is amazing how much detail you can forget in just over a year’s time, but when it is written down on paper you can read through and relive those moments. Chelsey asked me once if I had ever had a black eye. I knew that I had one while in high school, and had even taken pictures of it, but for the life of me I could not remember how I got it. I contemplated that maybe one of my sisters gave it to me or that possibly one of the old residents at my work at the time had knocked me a good one. I had to lay the conversation to rest because my brain had not stored that information. A day late and a dollar short I found a journal of that day; I had received a black eye by opening my car door right into my face. A story of a black eye could get pretty interesting, however. I could have told a tale of entering a barn that was burning to a crisp to save a family of kittens, only to find myself dazed and confused by the smoke and running right into the very door that would grant me air. I could have possibly got that black eye by defending a poor helpless little kid who just wanted the yellow swing at the park. I may have been able to convince myself of these stories because that memory simply did not exist; instead, a paper and pen walked me through the events of that day.

The tell-all, open-book mentality I have always had has granted me the ability to express almost every emotion I have on a page of paper. Usually many exclamation points confirm frustration and annoyance, as well as eagerness and satisfaction. I use periods to demonstrate pauses in thought, and almost every journal entry I have written became a letter to God. If a pen and paper, or now, a keyboard and website can trigger memories that we thought were long gone as well as show readers a little deeper inside the mind and heart of who we are..then...what the heck?..Hence.. my thoughts...

It is interesting to me how God chooses to work in my life. I can beg for years and years for him to teach me something, be it servant hood, selflessness, self-control, or whatever other S’s you can think of, but it never happens quick enough. This is where my lesson of P for patience comes in. Evangel told me that my top strength is an activator. This “strength” causes me to want to get things done speedily and efficiently. However, it comes with a disclaimer of negative side effects, one of which is impatience. I am very impatient when it comes to most things. Like the Veruca girl sings in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory “I don’t care how, I want it now” I find myself subconsciously thinking the same way. However, this summer is teaching me to be patient with people, the most crucial aspect of my flaw. I’m living with my grandparents who have no reason to do things fast. They are retired and they enjoy each day as it comes. My grandma is possibly the most positive and enlightened person I have ever met, and as I spend some afternoons with her, listening to her insight and always encouraging words, I find myself cherishing that time with her rather than becoming selfishly impatient on the inside. The little annoyances that plague every relationship of mine are becoming appreciation for the differences in personalities and outlooks of each person in my life. Little by little I’m learning to wait on others, to learn from them and ultimately enjoy the opportunity to know them. Little by little I am learning to wait on God, whose clock is ticking with a different hand than my own.