I haven't always felt him and sometimes I wondered if He was really there, but this incredibly deep love that I have couldn't possibly be for nothing. Aside from doing all the "right" things and having conversations with others as if I have even the slightest grasp on the concept of my creator, I find a need for so much more. What I knew of God yesterday isn't good enough for today. Even though last week I loved Him so much, this week I still find myself desperate and longing to feel Him, to know Him, and to give Him every bit of who I am.
There is this song that was on Hillsong United's first album. I was around eleven or twelve when that album came out and when I listen to this song I remember the hours I spent in my bedroom worshiping to it. Life was so simple back then. I had no idea what the next 9 years would bring but I knew I needed the Lord right then. In those moments I found myself so hungry for Him. I want to love Him so simply. I want to trust Him like its all I know to do. I don't know what even next week will bring, but I love Him now like it doesn't matter.
Like a deer longing for water
My soul yearns;
Only you can fill my deep hunger
My heart burns
My heart burns.
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